Pause to Love

I hate having to say ‘I told you so’… I do not like being right about things that are disheartening. Often, people ask for my insight, I tell them my take on things, if they end up not following my advice I take it to my knees and pray ‘Lord, please let me be wrong.’ But sometimes, He still lets me be right…

From JP2 I learned that those who are “in the truth” have a sacred responsibility of conveying it across prudently in a manner that arrogance for the excuse of righteousness does not cloud its value. Always at all times, it is more important to be kind than to be right. I keep that in mind…

So when I find myself in moments where I am eye to eye with someone – hoping that my brutal honesty would lead to their self-knowledge and deepening of relationship with Christ – but see that the painful truth hurts them, I pause. I recognize that is not the right time to teach. I pause, take a step back, and wait. Sometimes I wait for years…

People do not know how delighted I am of the things I choose not to say. I have to muster up enough strength to hold-in the preaching. When I am able to win that battle with myself I am pleased. I have to trust that the Holy Spirit will open up another opportunity for me to deliver the message when the timing is right, when the recipient is ready.

I have given up on wondering about certain matters outside of myself. I realize that wrestling with the ‘how come’ and ‘why so’ may not always be necessary. It’s true that its best to proactively affect change. Even for things that “seemingly” could only be accepted as they are. But, timing is key. I guess that’s why change is only valued when its welcome.

It used to puzzle me why people still come back to me for things they already know will be hurtful. I used to think ‘Man! They must really enjoy the torture!’ My self-centered thoughts circle around the concept that ‘If you don’t like what I’m going to say then don’t come asking me for it.’ I don’t think that way anymore. I believe if God did not send those people for me to teach, then, they are for sure in my life for me to learn from. When I need to, I can choose to love them with my silence, both for their sake and mine.

I’ve learned to let go of the fixation on having people do what is right and what is good based on the standards I have set for myself. The truth is, none of our good deeds will save us. Only the body and blood of Christ has the power to redeem us.

Embracing that knowledge allows me to choose to be kind instead; to draw strength to hold-in the lecture. To pause to love my friends and family in their stubbornness – the same way my ever-patient Saviour does with my hard-headedness.

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