I lay me down on the grass in this quiet place, took a few deep breaths and stared up the sky. Realized I am stuck to a massive rock spinning while hurtling through space around a gigantic ball of fire through a vastness that has no beginning or end. What is more, though I am tiny amidst all these, He is mindful of me the most.
God always thinks of me. I know it. I would never be made to believe that God doesn’t care about me or that He doesn’t exist. He will always be real to me for that something deep within me that longs for only Him.
I’ve had people fault me for thinking too much or thinking too deeply. That is laughable to me! I am only responsible for what I hold in my mind, not for everything that goes through it. And what I hold I could never think enough of. Of how each and every day God is at work to assure me of His love that I may remain confident in His promises and be comforted by His open invitation…
When in the gospel Jesus said “Come to me… I will give you rest” I know He is not inviting me to a life without burden. I believe He is saying that if I am to unite my sufferings with Him then I will not perceive it as a burden. My suffering has value when I bear it with Christ. He accompanies me. Once I embrace that I will find not only blessing but peace – even if some days I have to look a little harder.
The struggle is really within myself. What I choose to think about. My perception of things. My thought process. My many flawed ways. So Jesus invites me to quiet my worries and rest in God’s everlasting love.
I think much too much and yet still not enough. I do not want to limit the ways in which God endows. I find not only assurance, confidence, and comfort in contemplating on the greatness of God’s love for me. I find meaning. It ends my questioning. It quiets my earthly anxieties. It allows me to have a peek at how God sees me. It soothes my soul. It leads me to rest.
How could I not find joy at the thought of someone who never stops thinking of me? I’d rather live my life believing that I matter to someone who does not have a need from me than wander for a lifetime lost in search for something beyond my reach.
Even if at the end of my life I find out that there is indeed no God and that He is only a product of my creative thought; even if heaven was not promised to me and even if eternal life was not part of the deal – then – having Jesus for just right now would still have been worth it.
I think of that and I rest.