An Honest No

I received a call invite to participate in a video promotion of a charitable foundation I support. I declined and it shocked the caller. I had been supporting their child sponsorship program on a monthly basis for years now. Which is why I guess the caller was expecting a more enthusiastic response from me. I said I would not participate in the campaign as I do not really consider myself an advocate for the cause. I was consistent with my monthly contributions, but in all honesty, I was just doing my due diligence. I give because I could. Truth is I had the deduction setup as pre-authorized from my bank account which means I’m not even aware whenever the funds are taken out.

I do believe the foundation is doing a lot of good, exactly the reason why I support it. But to truly be an advocate, I could say, has not grown in my heart yet. I was just being honest. Sometimes I wonder if I help only because it makes me feel good about myself. For sure it brings a certain level of esteem to an individual when you help someone whom you know cannot repay you. I have a lot of self-assessment to do. If I would speak about the cause I would want that my heart is in the same place. At this point I’m just not sure that is the case.

Sure I could probably come up with a moving spiel and deliver it convincingly well, but I would just be acting. People think that just because I do well with public speaking that I should do it often. There’s more to it than that for me. I do not want to be just a mouthpiece. I want to be a vessel. It is one thing to speak in behalf of someone and it’s another to truly represent. In my view, it is not eloquence that persuades people, it is passion.

In the Gospel Jesus said “…they honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from me.” I considered this as cautionary and it has resonated in my spirit in major ways I could not even explain.

I know that God looks at me and sees my heart. I want to be truthful not only to myself but to the God who has His eyes on me all the time. I believe that God deserved that honest no from me even if some people think I would have done just as well with an insincere yes.

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