I saw myself in an old group photo. I stared at it for a long time, uncertain of how to feel about it. God is the best recycler of all, I thought to myself. In the photo was a cluster of people who were once broken, rejected, abused, crushed, discarded…
Yet somehow God collected all of those people in what seemed like a massive recycling bin to make use of them in other ways – myself included. Which was probably why the photo was very striking to me. Most of us, or I most definitely, have trouble believing that God has made up His mind about using me. I am not worthy.
Coming to that event I was thinking God will work on getting a ‘Yes’ from me. Then I was reminded that God is a giver. He didn’t bring me there to take from me; He called me to bless me. And indeed I was. I was blessed with an assurance that there is nothing I will face that He and I cannot handle together. I am one of God’s recycled deluxe; restored, transformed, recharged, renewed… hopefully useful and fruitful too. I recognized that God moves me in ways mysterious but precise. When God invites to bless me He says ‘come.’ When He intends to bless through me He says ‘go.’ Times I behaved in a ‘come and go’ fashion were times that I listened to a voice that is not God’s.
I looked at my image in the photo again. Not with uncertainty this time but with amazement – hearing God say to the anointed, “What’s that in your hand? Lay it down. I will make it come alive and do wonders with it you never can imagine.”
It is like a personal invitation from God that says “come give me your brokenness, I will make something beautiful out of it.” Now, whenever I’m about to slam myself with my unworthiness God cuts me off saying “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that…”